I'd really love to have a pretty flower bed and a nice garden. Something colorful and attractive. Something to make people think "Gosh, what a nice-looking place."
But this will never be, apparently, for the following reasons:
1) Plants die once they realize I am taking care of them.
2) My mobility is limited these days, and I would be unable to do the work involved in caring for a flower bed and a garden.
3) My neighbor has chickens which are allowed to roam free. They waddle over into my yard and peck away at any greenery I have. A few years ago I tried growing some low-maintenance flowers, but those lousy chickens killed them all.
I want to eat chicken for dinner and pretend I'm getting revenge.
If I was rich I could afford a gardener AND a chicken-sniper.
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