Next on the list: learn to make wheels and fire

For the last umpteen weeks (maybe more), I keep getting a message at the top of my Twitter page that says "You're using an older version of Twitter that won't be around for much longer. Switch to new Twitter!"

I've resisted this for a couple reasons:

1. Technology and I occasionally have ugly moments where it refuses to work properly, thus reducing me to a pathetic angry raving lunatic.

2. I detest change.

3. When G-Mail switched over to some "new & improved" version, it ended up not working right for me. I have to use the old version or I get error messages. (see #1 above).

Today, I finally decided to switch.
As far as I can tell, it works all right.

Though for all I know, it's lulling me into a false sense of security until it finally decides to erase my hard drive while I sleep tonight.

Time will tell.
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To various people I noticed on Tuesday:

1. To the chick with the screaming tantruming kid in the middle of the store: Honestly, it really is ok to give your kid a spanking when they act like that. Really. Trust me.

2. To the guy in the green shirt: Please pull up your pants.

3. To the person driving behind me: I was going 10 miles over the speed limit and you STILL tailgated me and passed me?? Wow. I hope you're a famous brain surgeon on your way to save somebody's life.

4. To whoever decided that pizza rolls should be on sale this week: I think I love you.
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Not very ladylike

It's that time of year for the ladybugs to be infesting us.

Things that do not taste good with ladybugs:

1. Chicken nuggets
2. Pizza rolls
3. Fish sticks
4. Bratwurst
5. Biscuits
6. Tacos
7. Anything else

Yet whenever I make something, I have to check the pots and pans first, because at least half the time there's a ladybug on it.
I hope my neighbors are having this problem as well; I'd hate to think I was the only one.

How about you?
Any ladybugs?
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Manic Monday: Final

Today is the very last of the Manic Monday themes, and the word is "Final". Thank you very much to all of you who have read my Manic Monday posts these past few years. Now I have to think of something else to post on Mondays! Anyone have any suggestions?

Things the letters FINAL could stand for:

1. First, I Need A Life
2. Frank's Intestines Never Acquired Limpness
3. Frequent Intermittent Naps Are Leisurely
4. Freeway? Interstate? Nearly Always Lost!!
5. Fortunately, Indiana Never Annoyed Louisiana
6. Flatulence Is Not Always Loved
7. Flailing Ichthyologists Need A Lifeboat
8. Fantastic Illusions, Nibbling Away Lifetimes
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Things the letters PLANT could stand for

1. Please Listen And Notice Termites

2. Penguins Like A Nice Toffee

3. Perhaps Louis Admits Nothing Today

4. Pond Life: Always New Tadpoles

5. Pureed Liver: Acccgghhh! NOT Tasty!
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Things the letters CANDY could stand for

1. Cats (Almost) Never Destroy You
2. Choose Another Nation! Denmark? Yugoslavia?
3. Come Along Nicely. Don't Yell.
4. Contact A New Dork Yearly
5. Consideration Always Necessary. Don't Yodel.
6. Crept Around North Dakota Yesterday
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Manic Monday: Bite

Can you bite your nose?
This guy can.
I hope he doesn't do this when he has post-nasal drip.

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_sep2007/CYBYN.htm

Go on.
Check it out.
You know you want to.
......................................................................................

Ok, ok, if you'd rather have a list, here's one of those too. :)

Things I would prefer NOT to bite me:

1) Lion
2) Shark
3) Vampire
4) Crocodile
5) You
6) Pit Bull
7) Werewolf
8) That creepy guy standing right behind you
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Things I have never seen at a McDonald's

1. Girl Scouts selling band-aids
2. Bagpiper playing the theme to the Flintstones
3. Mimes pretending to be trapped inside a Big Mac
4. Magic strawberry shakes which induce hallucinations
5. Statue of Napoleon made entirely from pinecones and french fries
6. Dancing teddy bears who steal chicken nuggets from anyone wearing green
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Manic Monday: Club

1) I miss the days when Taco Bell had the bacon club chalupa.

2) Bamm Bamm might have been a lot less destructive if they hadn't let him carry that giant club around all the time.

3) It's been over 15 years since I've been to a nightclub.

4) Here's a Wikipedia entry about club foot.

5) Never in my entire life have I clubbed a baby seal. There were, however some adolescent ones that really got on my nerves one time.
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Thirteen things I often crave but rarely have

1. Swedish meatballs
2. Beef stroganoff
3. Crab cakes
4. Fettucine alfredo
5. Cheesecake
6. Chocolate truffles
7. Lemon bars
8. Shrimp scampi
9. Bacon BBQ cheeseburger
10. Alfredo veggie lasagna
11. Stuffed mushrooms
12. BBQ ribs
13. Chili dogs
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Get it while it's fresh

It might be nice if snow fell in different flavors.
Here are some possibilities:

1) Orange creamsicle
2) Wild cherry freeze
3) Marshmallow cocoa
4) Tangerine grapefruit
5) Strawberry frost
6) Mocha whipped cream
7) Peppermint Patty
8) Blueberry blizzzard
9) Sweet lemon ice
10) Grape sleet
11) Kiwi lime slush
12) Mango Papaya Mist
13) Pineapple shiver
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The Key To Happiness

Ok, now that I've lured you in with that title, it's time to come clean and admit that I have no clue what the key to happiness is.
Yes, it was false advertising, I know. Sorry.
Instead, I'll just list some things that make ME happy, and with any luck, some of them will work for you as well.

1) Plenty of good quality chocolate
2) Hugging a purring cat, and feeling loved unconditionally.
3) Blogging, and having people read my posts (and comment!)
4) Playing good music in a good ensemble with good musicians
5) Being creative and making graphics for myself and others
6) Eating spicy tacos with plenty of hot sauce and cheese
7) Johnny Depp (enough said).
8) Scented candles that fill the room with wonderful fragrance
9) Being snug in a warm comfy bed, feeling safe
10) Enjoying the snowy beauty of wintertime
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Manic Monday on my other blogs:
Jannaverse: Still Waiting For My Miracle
Jantics: Things I Still Don’t Know, Even Though I’m About To Turn 38
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Thirteen words that sound funny if you say them over and over again until they don't sound like words anymore

1. Burglar
2. Rutabaga
3. Purple
4. Scuba
5. Jerky
6. Toupee
7. Curdle
8. Equinox
9. Reciprocity
10. Stupefy
11. Chrysanthemum
12. Mart
13. Paisley
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jantics: 13 toys I remember having as a kid. (How many of you had these same toys?)
Jannaverse: 13 things I haven't done yet in 2007

Thursday Thirteen

Thirteen anagrams for "Pointless Directives"

1, Descriptive Into Less
2. Civil Depression Test
3. Depressive Stoic Lint
4. Descriptive Nose Slit
5. Discipline Vet Tosser
6. Set Pelvis Discretion
7. Dispersive Clit Notes
8. Indiscreet Stove Lips
9. Solve Indiscreet Spit
10. Persistent Civil Dose
11. Devil Tits Precession
12. Indecisive Sort Slept
13. Persistent Live Disco
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Thursday 13 on my other blogs:
The Jannaverse: Anagrams for "Get Your Blog On"
Jantics: Anagrams for "Meloncutter Musings"

Thirteen things I have never done

1) Be a mime
2) Drink kangaroo milk
3) Get pregnant
4) Become respected by Tibetan monks
5) Kidnap someone and chain them to a wall in my garage
6) Drink bleach out of a size 12 shoe
7) Find a hundred dollars in the sofa cushions
8) Dance the fox trot
9) Seen the movie Casablanca
10) Eaten duck
11) Stood on a glacier
12) Mix candle wax and gunpowder
13) Translate the Bible into Klingon
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jantics: 13 things I promise NOT to say on the air when I co-host The Mo Show next week!
Jannaverse: 13 things that would be bad to find in your refrigerator
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Thirteen things that sound good right now, as long as someone else does the cooking

1. Chipotle marinated flank steak with southwest rice
2. Fettucine alfredo with grilled chicken
3. Risotto
4. Shrimp scampi
5. Stuffed flounder
6. Crab cakes
7. French toast
8. Jambalaya
9. Sweet & sour chicken
10. BBQ ribs
11. Dark chocolate chesecake
12. Black raspberry pie
12. Chocolate torte
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jantics: 13 things you should NOT leave in the car overnight
Jannaverse: 13 things I have never said to a police officer
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Manic Monday: Earth

Special things about Earth:

1. We're the only planet with McDonalds (as far as we know).
2. Our planet is mostly water, which means we pee a lot more than the aliens do.
3. We have chocolate, and aren't afraid to use it.
4. We have spam e-mails that daily encourage us to increase our penis size.
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Manic Monday on my other blogs:
Jantics: My migraine-filled Sunday
Jannaverse: Things the aliens will say when they finally land on Earth
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Thirteen Ways To Spell That Feeling You Get In Your Nose Right Before You Sneeze

1) zzsshhck
2) ffzztt
3) zsfhh
4) hhszz
5) chhhsh
6) znggg
8) sfffhz
9) cscscss
10) fhhhfth
11) zzzhhh
12) xzxh
13) shzhzh

Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jannaverse: Thirteen things no one has ever said to me
Jantics: Thirteen things I promise not to drop down your pants
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Things Mozart never had to deal with

1) High gas prices
2) Alien probing (as far as we know)
3) Scooping a litter box
4) Calories at McDonalds
5) George Bush
6) Speed limits
7) Printer jams
8) Slow dial-up connections
9) Martha Stewart
10) Rap music
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Name of 13 aliens who may (or may not) have probed me before hitting me with the selective amnesia ray:

1) Zorquox
2) Vilavanox Prime
3) Orp
4) Dossix Vry
5) Gotch
6) Xifix
7) Pandroficus Ern
8) Morgen
9) Kobbloz Iq
10) Gragangarg
11) Blix Hasselhoff
12) Zet Yoop
13) Quapicatarian
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Thursday Thirteen on my other blogs:
Jannaverse: 13 things one should not do while sitting on the toilet
Jantics: 13 things that can not fit in a 5x7 envelope
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